Read more

Archive for the ‘News’ Category

See Shed live in his show ‘TROUBLE’…

Posted on:

Shed Simove in 'Trouble'</a> Show white right2

Shed’s current comedy show is called ‘TROUBLE’ 

Shed’s comedy performances involve a very visual, multimedia show that outlines his products (including those on this site) and adventures – and specifically, the problems he encounters. He’s aiming to bring this show to New York & Los Angeles too.



See ‘’ for more information and upcoming shows…

Shed writes to the Queen about ‘Buckingham Phallus’

Posted on:

Shed wrote a letter to Her Majesty The Queen asking her to endorse the ‘Buckingham Phallus’ dildo. You can view the letter below. Oddly, he is yet to receive a reply. Shed says: “I‘m hoping Her Majesty will adore my royally rollicking creation – and that she gets round to replying to me. Maybe she has a lot of stuff on at the moment…or maybe she was just waiting for the metallic gold version of her dildo to be developed….and now it is! So, I’m sure she’ll be touch soon – either for a case load or to let me know about my knighthood...’.

Queen Letter 2

Queen Letter 3



Ann Summers furious over Rampant Rabbi

Posted on:

Rampant Rabbi opposition Shed Simove 600Ann Summers, the high street ‘adult’ chain that famously launched the ‘Rampant Rabbit’, has blocked Shed from registering the brand name ‘RAMPANT RABBI’ for his Rabbi shaped dildo. Shed says he’s hopeful of an amicable resolution and believes there’s even a possibility of a partnership.  ‘The dream outcome would be that the talented Team at Ann Summers now see how well my Rampant Rabbi has turned out and ask to stock it in their stores next to their ‘Rampant Rabbits’ – that’d be amazing!’.


Metallic Finishes Developed

Posted on:

Shed is constantly striving to bring you the most exciting products possible and to this end has been working with the amazing Team at Midland Life Castings to create versions of the dildos that have a shiny metallic finish. The results are fantastic and you can see this range of dildos in a variety of metal finishes on the website now, including a silver CUNT DRACULA, a gold BUCKINGHAM PHALLUS and a metallic blue RAMPANT RABBI…

montage metallic

The previous versions Shed developed were all pastel colours:

Montage Shed Simove 2


Posted on:

I’m currently looking to license the VAGENIE, CUNT DRACULA, BUCKINGHAM PHALLUS and the RAMPANT RABBI. So, if you’re a wholesaler in the adult industry and would be interested in getting these creations to an even wider market, then please get in touch

This site was nearly called…

Posted on:

Domains I also registered 2

When Shed had the idea for this site, he needed both a brand name and website name.

So, he enlisted the help of his Facebook friends, who responded in amazing force and with huge creative flair.

Shed’s post for help garnered over 250 replies, most of them utterly hilarious.  You can see the full response by clicking HERE.

The name MASTURPIECES was suggested that same day through a private message from the very clever Peter Reis, creator of Top Charms.

Shed bought this domain right away and some other domains (see image) too, including:

  • ToysAhhUs
  • Artdicko
  • Dickstarter


‘OMGenie’ is Trademarked!

Posted on:

OMGenie Shed Simove MasturpiecesShed is totally delighted that the Trademark Office has granted trademarks to both of the brand names he filed for the Genie dildo: VAGENIE® and OMGeneie®. The ‘OMGenie’ name was an alternative option for the genie dildo – but in the end, Shed decided to go with VAGENIE instead. Shed has a long track record of trademarking creative phrases and brand names, some of which you can see below. The top one is for a trademark for the phrase ‘The Trademark Office Has No Sense Of Humour‘ (successfully fought for – and won) and was filed after the Trademark Office refused to grant Shed the trademark for ‘Clitoris Allsorts’ deeming the name to be ‘contrary to principles of morality‘.

List Of trademarks applied for by Shed Simove